It All Can’t Be Golden

Life. 

Boy sometimes it’s a love hate relationship with you. Sometimes I love you because of the possibilities and the love and affection given. Then I hate you for my falls and my trials and the way being down have my emotions. 

They say pressure is good. But Life you can come with so many ups and downs which makes you beautiful. Well sometimes if I’m being truthful. 

This ugly earth and its pain I can’t just sit around while lives are being taken, and the homeless left without a place to live or food to eat, while most are throwing away what they were given. 

Not earned in any way. Those are the ones that takes advantage of the good. While in the bad they try to make the best. 

Talk about unfair talk about grief. Talk about pain and struggle talk about what’s above the surface and ignore what’s beneath. 

The loud cries for justice for this 9 year olds parents. She was just sitting in her home- a safe place we thought- to turn around and get hit by a bullet. Plain innocence not wrong. They are taking childhoods away and we stand back and watch and won’t say a word. 

Street Cred goes to those who stand up against wrong in my book. You get respect because of who you are and if you stand for something. Not for hiding and ruining lives of others by living in an image of a thug. 

I’m frustrated and I’m angry all these topics and no solutions but more than that no people standing as one to resolve this confrontation. 

Sometimes i wish I could live in my dreams and remain unconscious because being conscience seems to be a reality and level of hell I wasn’t prepared for. 

Advertisements

Exposure

Exposure

I allowed my shield to be withdrawn from my world. Then I allowed you to explore my land. Know my ins and outs, my beauty and my rough areas that needed some reconstruction. You came to me telling me your good at rebuilding and I agreed to let you help me rebuild my world into something beneficial to more than myself to give back into what my dreams were. 

I opened myself in every way I could. True naked exposure. 

While I was exposing my world you didn’t let me explore yours. When I asked questions as to what your dreams were, you always answered my focus is you. 

I didn’t see the signs of secrecy. 

The entire time I was exposing myself and I realize the hurt behind it, I found you did expose yourself. As the deceiver you truly were. You took my beautiful exposure as a field to plot your advantage spree. 

So now as I re-shield my world, the next explorer will have to prove more of their worthiness to journey through my truths. 

 

They Never Asked Me What I Wanted

You hear or see on television, how parents or grandparents ask children what do you want to be when you grow up?  

They’d know and say loud and firm a doctor, a lawyer, a firefighter, policeman, super hero, etc. 

Here I am today left without an answer. 

No one asked me. I explored my talents like basketball, drawing, poetry, running, singing. Not once did someone ask what I wanted out of this life. Here as I stand as an adult and they want an answer and a final decision on where I’m going, seeing that my thirties aren’t that far away. They expect more and I expect to have a decision yet when I go to speak in mute. 

I have multiple ideas. Oh yea! Multiple. What I would like to do and even those answer none of them, well maybe a couple relate but they are so far stretched its like trying to tell your mom she’s wrong. 

I sound difficult right? But I’m being honest. I want to be able to make strong decisions. But my focus to stick to one life career choice is really a big mess. College? No College? Work here? Work for myself? Volunteer ? Just all over the map. 

Usually when asked what you want to be your parents or whomever help to steer you in that path. See I’ve been looking out for myself since a kid and even then I was lost as to what to do. I was told maybe you have a disorder where you have trouble staying  focus although possible it still isn’t a excuse. 

I’m bringing awareness to the importance of asking questions you may have not even considered that may affect a child’s life. It’s important to know and support their goals. Even if they’re like me “indecisive” still help talk out of them what it is they really want and help them get there. 

Be present in support. 

Unmarrying Potential 

From a woman’s view we see you, we know what you can be and a lot of us love what we see in you, though the manifestation of you hasn’t been revealed just yet. 
It’s hard to discuss a future of someone who hasn’t finished high school. Why? Following through isn’t a strong suit. Now some may have encountered a rough life so they may have not be able to finish, but if so go back and get it. It’s not judging but if I see and want a future with u I want to know I can depend on you to follow through on small things that don’t cost money for you to finish. 

He may be good with kids, but he may not be father material. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them but that he may not be mature enough to raise children if his mind isn’t prepared for the sacrifice it takes. Selfish people aren’t meant for parenting. 

A Job title doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy but if a person keeps quitting because of people or little excuses that doesn’t really matter, that’s an issue. He can’t sit and grow anywhere if he keeps moving. Eventually or if not already he’ll deal with women the same way. Run when it gets tough or just because a new opportunity comes along. 
He may have a good heart and great personality but it’s more to it when building something with someone. You need stability and dependency. Someone strongminded and a go getter regardless of what life throws. That man can get dinner every night. And I can marry and submit to this man. Someone who knows who he is and don’t need a woman to hold his hand like a mom. But stand beside and let him lead, while you support like a partnership. 

That’s love and that’s a lasting marriage. 

That’s the goal ladies. 

Not marrying into what you see but what he does. 
Actions speak louder than words.  

Possession Of Real

He motivates me. Always say what I need to hear when I’m slacking on my dreams. He uplifts my dreams as though he say I shouldn’t give up on what I believe. 

But he says I do the same for him. He continues to grow and he acknowledges mine as well. 

He guides me to challenge my spirituality. Be proud of my color. Me more informative about my surroundings and how to get out of the struggle. 

He’s not a man of just words but action. 

I wouldn’t doubt his love because he always show and tells me in ways everyone doesn’t have to know.  

It’s not for everyone to know, he makes sure that I know first. 

His integrity and self worth is noticeable to everyone around him. 

It’s an honor to know him. 

Friends With GOD Benefits 

In a recent event I was wanting to start a prayer chain for an individual. As I scrolled through my contacts I had no one to start that with. Not family or friends. I prayed myself because regardless I know God hears prayers. But the thought dawned on me, having family and friends avaliable to contact through hard times is a need as a Christian. 

My contacts lacked connections to others with a connection to the Source I needed at the time. That was an eye opener. It also made me question my surroundings. 

My mom always told me, “who you surround yourself with is a reflection of you“. And like mostly all the time she’s right. So slowly I started to remove friends or associates that weren’t representing what I was trying to be. Although I removed a lot of people, I also didn’t replace them with good company. 

You always want to have those to pray for you and with you in hard times or just even on a regular. It’s healthy to have a few praying buddies on your team. When you learn to really appreciate the value of Gods line to him, you will take advantage of it. Amazing things were and are done in prayer. We have that it’s God given. 

Remember to always look at who you surround yourself with, make sure it’s a group of people who have a relationship with God, and prays regularly. That tool alone will help. Also those who aren’t afraid to let the world know they are his children. 

I sure will be searching and reaching out to more young praying people. Not just for praying reasons but to enjoy life with and maybe even witness to others about Jesus Christ. 

Have a great day, God Bless. 

My Everything

  I prepared for your debut. I couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms. I knew the first time I held you, it was love at first sight. 

That smile, that smile. It lit up my life, wondering how can anything be wrong when having you felt so right. 

I swore an oath to protect you, don’t let any harm touch you, and til this day I’ll die before I leave you. 

Your my first born, my treasure. My reason for not giving up. Seeing your face when I wake up gives me strength to be tough. 

Watching your first steps, I remembering almost crying, well mommy cried a lot, especially at Drs. Visits I hated those shots. 

Hearing your scream in pain, made mommy heart break, but I had to get it together to show you it’ll be ok. 

All the days we went to museums and parks, the times we shared that no one can ever question. 

That young lady loves her babygirl, yes I do baby your my world. 

5 years later and your growing so big, still my little Einstein, I guess that’s why your heads so big. 

Everything can feel so wrong, mommy can have bad days but to come home to my angel makes it all go away. 

We have our thing, only we understand. 

One day you’ll understand this love, and know when you came I finally had a heartbeat. 

My lovely baby, I will love you forever and you will always be Cherish(ed)!

For Cherish❤️💞💜