From A Distance.


I had a crush on you, though you never knew me. Always thought you were cute and I heard stories bout the person you came to be. 

It wasn’t no stalker shit, I never pressed the friend request button, but always wanted to but I felt I wasn’t worthy. I wondered if you were loved properly, as I just knew I could do it better those other chicks wasn’t worthy. I’d fantasize kissing you like in one of those movies. It actually kinda funny. I imagined making love and babies and marriage like I knew you personally. Like I had an encounter with you at least once in life, how I wish you were my story. Like you were mine and we could build something and make history, like the chains that were bound upon us was the challenge for us to become an icon. I thought wrong. Had this vision in my head like someone forgot to turn the lights on, cause it seems kinda crazy to fantasize about you the way I did and could never build up the courage enough to say I wanted you, so strong. But I’d never thought I would have a chance so I took a different road on. My existence wasn’t a factor in your world, I couldn’t love you or talk to you though I imagined many times you were the one. I promise I’m not crazy to have all these thoughts about someone, especially someone I never met in life. And I don’t think I’m wrong for the thought of you in my arms. 



(To be continued)…..


Brianna Whittington ©

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I Can…….

I can love the part you hate the most about yourself, where you see an emptiness, I see a place I can fill. 

I can see past your fear, of loving someone and being hurt, I’ve been there too, but it’s more than your heart that I see in you. 

I can change how others made you feel, by loving you the way you always wanted but always lacked and accumulated many disappointments that brought you to this moment. 

I can make you question my love, but once I show you all I can do, I can also make you accept what your not use to. 

I can make you laugh and feel wanted, I can play with your body and love your mind yet carefully hold your heart in the same place as mine. 

I can give you more than the usual. But can you handle the abnormality of what I’m willing to hand you. 

I can make foreign things become home, and that means safe, but I understand your fragile from the past and this is a weird place, yet I’m willing to do it all and still wait. 

Bruises heal in time, it takes taking care of wounds for them to heal, so why not let me care for those wounds and we both watch what’s real. 

I can and I know you want me to, but don’t let the past make you miss out on what’s rare and true. Someone who don’t love them can never love you, and I love myself enough to love more than you. 

It All Can’t Be Golden

Life. 

Boy sometimes it’s a love hate relationship with you. Sometimes I love you because of the possibilities and the love and affection given. Then I hate you for my falls and my trials and the way being down have my emotions. 

They say pressure is good. But Life you can come with so many ups and downs which makes you beautiful. Well sometimes if I’m being truthful. 

This ugly earth and its pain I can’t just sit around while lives are being taken, and the homeless left without a place to live or food to eat, while most are throwing away what they were given. 

Not earned in any way. Those are the ones that takes advantage of the good. While in the bad they try to make the best. 

Talk about unfair talk about grief. Talk about pain and struggle talk about what’s above the surface and ignore what’s beneath. 

The loud cries for justice for this 9 year olds parents. She was just sitting in her home- a safe place we thought- to turn around and get hit by a bullet. Plain innocence not wrong. They are taking childhoods away and we stand back and watch and won’t say a word. 

Street Cred goes to those who stand up against wrong in my book. You get respect because of who you are and if you stand for something. Not for hiding and ruining lives of others by living in an image of a thug. 

I’m frustrated and I’m angry all these topics and no solutions but more than that no people standing as one to resolve this confrontation. 

Sometimes i wish I could live in my dreams and remain unconscious because being conscience seems to be a reality and level of hell I wasn’t prepared for. 

Why???

We have unarmed teens getting killed.

 We have soldiers dying everyday.

 We have kids starving

We have homeless people in the cold

We have kids killing kids and showing no remorse. 

Cancer killing more young people

Kids aren’t  growing up

Babies getting rapped 

Moms drugged up

Daddy’s missing or locked away. 

People working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet

Rich getting richer and poor getting worse. 

Where is the sympathy? Where is justice? Where is the drug programs? Where are the parents? Where are the cures? Where is the money?

Cities without water, where is it all going? Where are the shelters? Why are we still at war? 

So many questions unanswered I’m starting to get annoyed. 

I’m frustrated with this world, I’m mad I can’t do more. Why people with power don’t use it to uplift anymore?

People worried about awards, clothes, and cars. What happened the the leaders of the world? Where are the true stars?

Why so many sleepless nights? Why can’t I cry? So much pain our screams are so high. There’s a drought of change, someone kidnapped love. What does my child has to look forward to? Why not just give a hug? Why not just show compassion? Why keep creating distraction to hide the real actions? 

What is going on?

Why are so many people hurting?

Why can’t we find happiness in a time that was fought for us to conquer?

Why am I asking? Why I want to know? Because I’m wondering if I should just give up life, and bury hope. 
#why -Brianna Whittington #godweneedyou #changeneedstohappen 

When did falling in Love BeCome so Complicated??

  

The last time I fell in love I was 18 years old. I was head over hills for this guy. & Now 4 years later I’m still single and I’m wondering when did it become so complicated and hard to fall in love. 
Now with social media it’s a distraction from people really getting to know each other, so many use Facebook as a tool to be someone their not. Who is actually genuine? Who is actually looking for a wife? Who actually wants to settle down? Who wants to build? 

In my head no one. Everything comes so easy in our days no one want to wait or work hard for the long term things that may bring true happiness. 

I remember all of the long walks talking about our past. Talking about what we want in the future. Talked about children and careers and God. We laughed at the silliest things because our bond was so strong it was like I knew what he was going to do before he did it. I use to love to see his face and embrace him with hugs, and we would spend hours everyday with each other and I wouldn’t get tired of seeing him. We were together so much it was like we were one, he moved I moved. I moved he moved. Everyone wanted what we had, and I thought it wouldn’t end but something changed.

   

Being in love is an awesome feeling especially when you know that you are loved too. 

I don’t hear stories about real love. The love now days takes 4 days to get and last just about the same then they move on to the next. People use to be heart broken about break ups it would take them years to get over and get moving on dating again. Now they don’t stop they are going to one on to the next one in the same week. That’s unbelievable. 

Love isn’t something quick or temporary unless it’s isn’t real nor meant to be. 

  

Mirror Reflecting What Appears Not What’s Within

I thought about the strength I have and a few other women I know. We are what we call the “go to” In our families meaning, we are usually the ones people call to hear their problems. Or solve their problems or play mediator between other grown family members. Sad but true. But the biggest truth behind it all is what we look like naked. Yes! Naked, raw, real, humiliation, just plain naked. 
  

Now if someone was to ask me to stand in front of a mirror naked, and really  take a look at myself and share what I see. I could pick out about 10 things about my body that I wish I could change. Not one would be what’s on the inside. People identify strong women as tough or mean or responsible because, that’s what we have been in charge of since children. What about the strong women? Why is it that when they are down other people can’t seem to handle their weakness? Why can’t they be weak, and sad, and irresponsible? Because their too strong? I can’t accept that excuse. In fact it is a deep excuse that repeated and sucks at the same time. In the inside they may be dealing with hurt but have to push theirs aside to help other hurt people. That’s selflessness. They may be struggling with knowing who they are and can still tell you, your deserve better. Not because it’s the right thing to say but, because it’s the truth. When helping uplift others you feel better, you think maybe I saved a life or someone from a bad decision. 

I’ve learned that being strong is just who God may have made me to be. Some leaders adapt to that role early so it would be easier later to be the “go to”. Also I’ve learned not to be too strong to not want to show weakness or become insensitive to others situations or my own. Life can be rough and though we need strength more than anything we also need truth. && Truth comes in the rawest form,  Without substitute either it is or it isn’t. 
Look in the mirror, naked or fully clothed but don’t look on the outside. It’s guarded and maybe fabricated to be someone it’s not. Stop picking out flaws on the outside and work on the inside. Everyone is strong, some of our strengths are just better suited in different environments, but it’s up to us all to keep each other strong. No one left behind in needing strength. 
The one who appears to be the strongest, is the one who needs to be lifted. 


#strength #power #love #naked #truth #God #Love 

Life in Killwaukee

Its a blessing to make it tomorrow without being murdered. You use to be able to sit on your porch, now it’s taped off in crime scene tape. When things go on, that need to be stopped, people just stop and record it. Like young Black Deaths is some type of performance. It’s normal for 3 people to die in one day. Not many making it to 18, even 15 year olds being locked away. Money is all people see here in these streets, they will steal and kill just to buy material things. Blinded by truth cause of self. Self don’t want to work hard, just take from someone else. Self don’t want to get involved with someone else life, cause self is too busy worried about helping his self. No one lends a helping hand, no one seen who shot that young man. People seem to protest more about wages and brutality against blacks, but no one is fighting against black on black crimes, and our educational lack. We have more drug dealers than preachers on the streets, not trying to give people hope but helping them kill their untapped dream. 

When no one steps up to the plate to witness and help bring change, you mine as well pulled the trigger as well. Too many RIP stats and funerals, they even have coffin stores in the hood, cause murder is so usual. Sad ain’t it? Heartbreaking right? All of the fight within but aiming at the wrong fight. Using people as targets instead of books. 
Crime and no hope to see tomorrow, what has my city come to?