They Never Asked Me What I Wanted

You hear or see on television, how parents or grandparents ask children what do you want to be when you grow up?  

They’d know and say loud and firm a doctor, a lawyer, a firefighter, policeman, super hero, etc. 

Here I am today left without an answer. 

No one asked me. I explored my talents like basketball, drawing, poetry, running, singing. Not once did someone ask what I wanted out of this life. Here as I stand as an adult and they want an answer and a final decision on where I’m going, seeing that my thirties aren’t that far away. They expect more and I expect to have a decision yet when I go to speak in mute. 

I have multiple ideas. Oh yea! Multiple. What I would like to do and even those answer none of them, well maybe a couple relate but they are so far stretched its like trying to tell your mom she’s wrong. 

I sound difficult right? But I’m being honest. I want to be able to make strong decisions. But my focus to stick to one life career choice is really a big mess. College? No College? Work here? Work for myself? Volunteer ? Just all over the map. 

Usually when asked what you want to be your parents or whomever help to steer you in that path. See I’ve been looking out for myself since a kid and even then I was lost as to what to do. I was told maybe you have a disorder where you have trouble staying  focus although possible it still isn’t a excuse. 

I’m bringing awareness to the importance of asking questions you may have not even considered that may affect a child’s life. It’s important to know and support their goals. Even if they’re like me “indecisive” still help talk out of them what it is they really want and help them get there. 

Be present in support. 

Unmarrying Potential 

From a woman’s view we see you, we know what you can be and a lot of us love what we see in you, though the manifestation of you hasn’t been revealed just yet. 
It’s hard to discuss a future of someone who hasn’t finished high school. Why? Following through isn’t a strong suit. Now some may have encountered a rough life so they may have not be able to finish, but if so go back and get it. It’s not judging but if I see and want a future with u I want to know I can depend on you to follow through on small things that don’t cost money for you to finish. 

He may be good with kids, but he may not be father material. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them but that he may not be mature enough to raise children if his mind isn’t prepared for the sacrifice it takes. Selfish people aren’t meant for parenting. 

A Job title doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy but if a person keeps quitting because of people or little excuses that doesn’t really matter, that’s an issue. He can’t sit and grow anywhere if he keeps moving. Eventually or if not already he’ll deal with women the same way. Run when it gets tough or just because a new opportunity comes along. 
He may have a good heart and great personality but it’s more to it when building something with someone. You need stability and dependency. Someone strongminded and a go getter regardless of what life throws. That man can get dinner every night. And I can marry and submit to this man. Someone who knows who he is and don’t need a woman to hold his hand like a mom. But stand beside and let him lead, while you support like a partnership. 

That’s love and that’s a lasting marriage. 

That’s the goal ladies. 

Not marrying into what you see but what he does. 
Actions speak louder than words.  

Possession Of Real

He motivates me. Always say what I need to hear when I’m slacking on my dreams. He uplifts my dreams as though he say I shouldn’t give up on what I believe. 

But he says I do the same for him. He continues to grow and he acknowledges mine as well. 

He guides me to challenge my spirituality. Be proud of my color. Me more informative about my surroundings and how to get out of the struggle. 

He’s not a man of just words but action. 

I wouldn’t doubt his love because he always show and tells me in ways everyone doesn’t have to know.  

It’s not for everyone to know, he makes sure that I know first. 

His integrity and self worth is noticeable to everyone around him. 

It’s an honor to know him. 

Friends With GOD Benefits 

In a recent event I was wanting to start a prayer chain for an individual. As I scrolled through my contacts I had no one to start that with. Not family or friends. I prayed myself because regardless I know God hears prayers. But the thought dawned on me, having family and friends avaliable to contact through hard times is a need as a Christian. 

My contacts lacked connections to others with a connection to the Source I needed at the time. That was an eye opener. It also made me question my surroundings. 

My mom always told me, “who you surround yourself with is a reflection of you“. And like mostly all the time she’s right. So slowly I started to remove friends or associates that weren’t representing what I was trying to be. Although I removed a lot of people, I also didn’t replace them with good company. 

You always want to have those to pray for you and with you in hard times or just even on a regular. It’s healthy to have a few praying buddies on your team. When you learn to really appreciate the value of Gods line to him, you will take advantage of it. Amazing things were and are done in prayer. We have that it’s God given. 

Remember to always look at who you surround yourself with, make sure it’s a group of people who have a relationship with God, and prays regularly. That tool alone will help. Also those who aren’t afraid to let the world know they are his children. 

I sure will be searching and reaching out to more young praying people. Not just for praying reasons but to enjoy life with and maybe even witness to others about Jesus Christ. 

Have a great day, God Bless. 

My Everything

  I prepared for your debut. I couldn’t wait to hold you in my arms. I knew the first time I held you, it was love at first sight. 

That smile, that smile. It lit up my life, wondering how can anything be wrong when having you felt so right. 

I swore an oath to protect you, don’t let any harm touch you, and til this day I’ll die before I leave you. 

Your my first born, my treasure. My reason for not giving up. Seeing your face when I wake up gives me strength to be tough. 

Watching your first steps, I remembering almost crying, well mommy cried a lot, especially at Drs. Visits I hated those shots. 

Hearing your scream in pain, made mommy heart break, but I had to get it together to show you it’ll be ok. 

All the days we went to museums and parks, the times we shared that no one can ever question. 

That young lady loves her babygirl, yes I do baby your my world. 

5 years later and your growing so big, still my little Einstein, I guess that’s why your heads so big. 

Everything can feel so wrong, mommy can have bad days but to come home to my angel makes it all go away. 

We have our thing, only we understand. 

One day you’ll understand this love, and know when you came I finally had a heartbeat. 

My lovely baby, I will love you forever and you will always be Cherish(ed)!

For Cherish❤️💞💜

You

You can make it easy to love you. 

You can make it hard to leave 

You can be my strength in the areas I am weak. 

You can be my knight saving me from cold things, you can be my cover, comforting me. 

You can be my partner, my rock, the reason I smile. 

You can be my babe forever and at all times. 

You can be my heart beat, together we are complete, and without you that heart beat skips with emptiness knowing I’m without one. 

You can be the answer to my heart needs and desires, you can be the end to my pain and hard times 

A gift delivered from God, you can be for me and I for you 

Deficiency Of Light

As I sit in a pool of my failures I wonder where did I go wrong. Countless attempts to get out of the gutter, seemed to pull me deeper into an extremely dark abyss. Tears of emotions of disappointments and whys, I thought I was living life the right way, by doing right. 

Doing right but treated wrong by those doing wrong yet still doing right ignoring the wrongs of others. 

Painting a picture of light but it seems the painter was colorblind to the choosing of color. 

Blinded thinking I was painting this big bright sun, when it was finally revealed to my sight, I painted a dark whole. 

It sucked away my encouragement and dreams. 

Things I didn’t realize where up for grabs and felt like my soul was sold. 

I can’t see, I can’t see. 

Like someone poured alcohol in my eyes, I can’t see, the pain is unbearable I can’t breathe. 

My lungs go out and my heart stopped beating. 

Or was it that my heart stopped beating, my lungs went out and I couldn’t breathe, someone blinded me with fabrication of what I was doing so I did not see. I can’t see, I can’t see. 
It’s a shame when your dreams just end up being memories. 

-B

Eyes Of Beauty (Beautiful Soul) 

  

When I look into your eyes, I can see your very soul. The depths of its beauty and the intimacy of your world. 

I can see a galaxy of love and sunshine all around you, it’s what they call a halo, but with you it’s more like a crown of true purpose. 

Made perfectly, made just for me. When I’m around you it isn’t a me or a you, just 2 hearts combining into one, one soul, one life connected by God himself and if I can admit, I say my soulmate. 

Not just the way I feel with you but, what I don’t without you. You complete me, not just have my heart in your hand or pocket, but as if you attached it to your own and created a new heart. 

How can I not have sex with you, and feel like I have, how can I lay next to you and hold you and be satisfied physically? How can your kisses mean more than the words  I love you when you’ve shown me enough, I don’t need them. 

Our spirits intertwined, LoveTogether, I know when I’m with you there’s no place greater. So if I die in your arms I’ve made it to heaven, and if I’m dreaming don’t wake me. 

Life just isn’t worth living, if you can’t live it with me. 

Private Education 

I have been looking into sending my soon-to-be 5 year old into private school. The public schools here in Milwaukee just isn’t the best. One problem, the COST of private schooling when your a one income home and no help. I tried to find more scholarships and grants to help and I won’t give up yet. But, it struck a nerve of mine to know how hard it is when you truly want the best for your children. How much money and even more sacrifices I will have to make to get her into one. I will pray that God sends help to get her into one. Public schools aren’t the worst but they just don’t have a heart in them like it use to when I was coming up. It’s sad but also its bad. The inner city as they call bad neighborhood kids don’t get a great education. Barely anything, although I work with my daughter at home and she’s very advanced for a 4 year old, I still want her to be able to have a school with great academics and music and athletics. So she can spread her mind into a lot of things to find out who she is. Pray along with me that God makes a way, and that I can with God get my child a better education without breaking my pockets.

Thanks Guys! 

❤️

Rage of Unfair Treatments

I can say that I’m upset. I have a right to be. When I turn on the news I see nothing but bloodshed and mistreating of young people for money. For years personally I have encountered, being seen for money. I was a price tag and wasn’t aware. That’s the way some leaders see the youth, a quick ticket to a lump sum. It’s not fair nor is it right! Did you know that some black teens or young moms have multiple children so that they can receive a larger amount in a tax return? 

It sounds and is so defiling for many black youth that aren’t making the same mistakes and growing from their poor choices. I always ask why do they not love themselves enough to want more than a tax return but, can make that and more by owning some things and becoming a leader in these communities. It’s upsetting and it makes me wonder if there is any hope anymore. 

Everything on this earth has a price tag, even people, heck even babies. That’s why celebs have a “worth” , why some have multiple kids, why some women and men sell their bodies for money, why we buy into material things we don’t need. 

It’s all image and money. 

I feel like history is just repeating itself again, instead of going forward,we have allowed a limited amount of growth, didn’t pass down the struggle, and allowed our generations and dignity and integrity to backfire and go backwards! 

I ask are these last day issues? Or Just a world full of foolishness. I know it’s the last days. God have mercy on the hearts of the greedy and cold. 

I always hope and wish for things to turn around, but we also need vessels that are willing to hit the streets not just, hide behind church walls and a computer or phone device commenting. We have enough commentary. We need actions! 
One Love!