I Can…….

I can love the part you hate the most about yourself, where you see an emptiness, I see a place I can fill. 

I can see past your fear, of loving someone and being hurt, I’ve been there too, but it’s more than your heart that I see in you. 

I can change how others made you feel, by loving you the way you always wanted but always lacked and accumulated many disappointments that brought you to this moment. 

I can make you question my love, but once I show you all I can do, I can also make you accept what your not use to. 

I can make you laugh and feel wanted, I can play with your body and love your mind yet carefully hold your heart in the same place as mine. 

I can give you more than the usual. But can you handle the abnormality of what I’m willing to hand you. 

I can make foreign things become home, and that means safe, but I understand your fragile from the past and this is a weird place, yet I’m willing to do it all and still wait. 

Bruises heal in time, it takes taking care of wounds for them to heal, so why not let me care for those wounds and we both watch what’s real. 

I can and I know you want me to, but don’t let the past make you miss out on what’s rare and true. Someone who don’t love them can never love you, and I love myself enough to love more than you. 

Finding Me

​I fell deep for someone who didn’t love me the same. 

Someone I would’ve went to war for didn’t even know my name. 

Tragedy in my heart when I had to let it go, knowing you were my everything and I couldn’t let you know. 

I’m always incomplete now cause I feel like you took the best of who I am when you decided to up and leave, but I’m trying to move forward and find you to get closure but now the trail of my broken  heart is covered with others broken pieces too. 

Why it takes years to find myself and when it only took you a matter of seconds to murder mine?

Why can’t i rewind the time and avoid meeting you or giving you a chance. 

True enough what’s done is done. One day I’ll find the part of me I lost in you. Once I found the one who can’t live without me, like I thought I couldn’t breathe without you. 
-B

Broken 

At one point I loved you more than myself. I would’ve given anything to make sure you were alright. Now I’m getting the boot, when I remember those who has done worse and still you keep them near. Someone you’ve known a lifetime stabbed you in the back and I’ve only been around some years and held you down more. I didn’t change up or disguard you for another. I kept my promise and treated you like you wanted. Done so many things I can’t undo but like you’ve been hurt I’ve been hurt too. But I forgive and forget because I know you hold a beauty inside my heart no one can. I think the fact you know I can’t see me without you, makes you leaving me knowing it hurts me the worst. Everywhere I go I see your face, every laugh we shared in in every place. Every moment in awake I just wonder how can I make you say, I love you too and I’m still here with you. Heart hurting I can’t fake it. People ask what’s wrong cause I can’t hide it, and I can’t share cause it’s deeper than they’ll understand. Why can’t I just forget you why can I let go. Because I loved you from the soul something you never knew, and could ever appreciate. That I’d do anything for you be anything you needed. Now I have to go on pretending, like I never loved you, like you never existed. 
Lost without you 

Exposure

Exposure

I allowed my shield to be withdrawn from my world. Then I allowed you to explore my land. Know my ins and outs, my beauty and my rough areas that needed some reconstruction. You came to me telling me your good at rebuilding and I agreed to let you help me rebuild my world into something beneficial to more than myself to give back into what my dreams were. 

I opened myself in every way I could. True naked exposure. 

While I was exposing my world you didn’t let me explore yours. When I asked questions as to what your dreams were, you always answered my focus is you. 

I didn’t see the signs of secrecy. 

The entire time I was exposing myself and I realize the hurt behind it, I found you did expose yourself. As the deceiver you truly were. You took my beautiful exposure as a field to plot your advantage spree. 

So now as I re-shield my world, the next explorer will have to prove more of their worthiness to journey through my truths. 

 

Unmarrying Potential 

From a woman’s view we see you, we know what you can be and a lot of us love what we see in you, though the manifestation of you hasn’t been revealed just yet. 
It’s hard to discuss a future of someone who hasn’t finished high school. Why? Following through isn’t a strong suit. Now some may have encountered a rough life so they may have not be able to finish, but if so go back and get it. It’s not judging but if I see and want a future with u I want to know I can depend on you to follow through on small things that don’t cost money for you to finish. 

He may be good with kids, but he may not be father material. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like them but that he may not be mature enough to raise children if his mind isn’t prepared for the sacrifice it takes. Selfish people aren’t meant for parenting. 

A Job title doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy but if a person keeps quitting because of people or little excuses that doesn’t really matter, that’s an issue. He can’t sit and grow anywhere if he keeps moving. Eventually or if not already he’ll deal with women the same way. Run when it gets tough or just because a new opportunity comes along. 
He may have a good heart and great personality but it’s more to it when building something with someone. You need stability and dependency. Someone strongminded and a go getter regardless of what life throws. That man can get dinner every night. And I can marry and submit to this man. Someone who knows who he is and don’t need a woman to hold his hand like a mom. But stand beside and let him lead, while you support like a partnership. 

That’s love and that’s a lasting marriage. 

That’s the goal ladies. 

Not marrying into what you see but what he does. 
Actions speak louder than words.  

Deficiency Of Light

As I sit in a pool of my failures I wonder where did I go wrong. Countless attempts to get out of the gutter, seemed to pull me deeper into an extremely dark abyss. Tears of emotions of disappointments and whys, I thought I was living life the right way, by doing right. 

Doing right but treated wrong by those doing wrong yet still doing right ignoring the wrongs of others. 

Painting a picture of light but it seems the painter was colorblind to the choosing of color. 

Blinded thinking I was painting this big bright sun, when it was finally revealed to my sight, I painted a dark whole. 

It sucked away my encouragement and dreams. 

Things I didn’t realize where up for grabs and felt like my soul was sold. 

I can’t see, I can’t see. 

Like someone poured alcohol in my eyes, I can’t see, the pain is unbearable I can’t breathe. 

My lungs go out and my heart stopped beating. 

Or was it that my heart stopped beating, my lungs went out and I couldn’t breathe, someone blinded me with fabrication of what I was doing so I did not see. I can’t see, I can’t see. 
It’s a shame when your dreams just end up being memories. 

-B

End Of The Road To ForEver  

Don’t take it personal, I loved you. I cared at one point, but the moment you chose her over me, you left my heart on the same road you picked hers up. 

At one point I wanted to know, what about her made you leave? What about her made you cheat? 

I thought giving you mostly all of me was enough, these tears and dreams of you wont subside, and I’m wondering when you handed me the drivers seat, did I steer us wrong?

I trusted you, I let you blind sight me as you took control of what was suppose to be forever. 

When my eyes finally seen where we were, it was a pile of words, with my heart placed on top. 

Memories of you still in my head, I can’t let it go. Like you released voo-doo on my heart, and I can’t get it back. 

Reverse this curse, I can’t let this be the end of my happiness or let my heart lie at the bottom of your boot. 

Do you even realize the footsteps of my blood that poured from my heart trailing you as you walked away?

After all this time I still can’t let another in, the damage from this crash is hard to recover from. 

Something that can’t be fixed by having you but by truly letting you go, all this time I searched for closure but it’s time I end this book without the ending that was expected. 

It was good while it lasted, a tragedy when it ended, as both stories move on in two different directions, there’s always hope it can meet again later on a crossroad.