I don’t deserve you.
I don’t deserve to be your friend or your lover.
The way you treat me is so loving and you may be the perfect one but I’m blinded by my own bullshit.
You’ve opened up so many ways to me, and like a best friend to me.
I’ve tried so hard not to hurt you, but low key I did without realizing.
Somethings you haven’t said but I can see it in your eyes. The disappointment of wishing I could get it together and pick you.
But I’m too busy doing the wrong things that I can’t really see you.
I can’t see that your good for me, and the things you’ve done.
I can’t see how u make me smile and I forget about life when I’m with you.
I can’t see how you naturally take care of me.
And I’m sorry for not choosing you. I’m sorry that my heart is still with her.
But I can’t lie a piece of it is with you too.
But I didn’t realize it until now.
The same feelings I tried to deny because I knew I wasn’t good enough right now for you.
You deserve better after all you’ve been through and I still hurt you and I really didn’t mean to.
But through out all of it I just want my friend. My peace through my storm and growth and hurt. That’s what you are and I hate I can’t say I wanna be with you but I have to see this through with her. I hope you understand and I hope we could remain friends, but if not I totally understand and just hope you know, I never meant to hurt your heart again.