When ya at your lowest and feel there’s no reason to live. No one you can’t count on. No one to help. No one who loves you like they claim. All my life I been put in the back seat while people drove recklessly ending every piece of me I’ve tried to hold onto. Like I’m in this sucker ass game playing a crash dummy allowing someone to keep pushing this button allowing me to crash into this brick wall over and over again. Meanwhile there’s a crowd of people screaming I love you but have the power to end your pain. I thought love was an action word. To me it just seems to be something people say just because. To get you wrapped in everything they want you to, because it’ll benefit them. Not realizing the action behind it can save a life. A lot of lives. Sorry if my deepest feelings offend you. Sorry if you don’t have people that can hold you. Truth is no one shows or tells you how much you mean until it’s the end of you. To tell the truth it’s just hell on earth so I understand why some take there own lives risking the possibility of going there themselves saying it can’t be worse than this. Hoping God will forgive. Hoping he can save you. Like you’re out here to deal with all this pain telling me over and over I will put no more on you than you can bare. But this load too heavy God, I can’t even stand, fighting against demons as if I wasn’t already defeated since life began. Damn. Is this it?