“Junk”

My dirty laundry started out in a small basket. I would use so many things I didn’t care where I put them. Til an abundance of an overflow filled my room. When I finally looked around I felt closed in. No room to breathe, no room to relax and no time for peace. As I looked at myself in the mirror I realized the weight gain and the bags under my eyes. I looked really exhausted and really pale. I didn’t realize who I was any longer. I sat in the middle of my dirty laundry asking how did I get here? 

My life was a mess. My usually fit body wasn’t fit. My appetite and food changed. My mood changed, even my normal portion of positivity was exchanged for something I had fought against. 

I walked away from God as the answer to my problems. I got impatient with waiting for an answer or direction from him. I let go of his hand and wandered off into a path of bad decisions and consequences of my decisions without even realizing I did. 

Feeling emotions I shouldn’t have. Taking advantage of some good people, even stopped praying everyday as I normally would. My pile of junk just continued to grow as I continued down this path. 

But down this path it got dark. The more I walked away, the more dim the light of God seemed to get. The further I got away the harder it seemed to cross all I’ve done and went through, to get back to him. 

To go back over my junk meant I had deal with my choices face to face. I wasn’t ready for the truth, so I stayed in place. I could see where I needed to go to be ridden of all my junk, but the road back seemed a little tough. I would feel ashamed going to God with an abundance of troubles, when he had my hand waiting with me for the answer to my questions and prayers. 

I wandered off thinking I could lead my own way and find my own answers to somethings only he had the map to. How foolish of a child I was. 

Realizing I can only stay away from my answer and chance for redemption, I got enough courage and strength to head back to the light. As I walked back to what seemed so dim, facing bad choices and sin I had to crawl over to get back. I realized that sometimes you can start off track thinking you know what’s best for you. I didn’t have a right questioning the author about where I ended in his story before the first chapter. I wanted a quick summary, a headstart into this novel. I wanted to know so I can get ahead quicker than I was suppose to. Not realizing that reading word from word the things I would learn along the wait of the end of this novel. Which is what made the end of this authors story so amazing. 

The initial novel didn’t have so much “junk” in the characters lives. But since the character went off script with impatience, the story took a turn. Yet the ending was still the same. 

Sometimes we are impatient with God. Wanting to get ahead so fast that we miss key things he wants us to learn that will help us along the way. The issue is if we go off track we can create hurdles for ourselves that we were never intended to cross initially. But that’s our plan not his. He said be still, yet we wanted to go. The thing that’s so amazing about God is that no matter where we steer off to he’s still in place where we left him. No matter how much “junk” we had, he is still willing to clean us up and start over. That’s called forgiveness. That’s real love. After we have left him to pursue our own ways and he accepts arms wide with love and grace and mercy. What’s even better we still get the success he intended for us from the start. Our hardheaded doing just helped us see and to be able to teach others to just follow on his path. 
Wait In Line With God, Once It Gets Moving And You Reach The Front, Your Blessings & Answers Are All Given To You.   
BriannaWhittington©

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